Should A Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Exploiting People for Material?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?